Imagine if you were in a giant frying pan. Except that the night before someone cooked 2 tons of bacon and now all the hot grease has congealed. Now imagine it isn't grease, but instead mud. Sprinkle potholes here and there full of water. Now two feet in any direction imagine a pile of:
a) horseshit
b) pig shit
c) goat shit
d) dog shit or
e) Human shit (later I left my own contribution)
Now imagine that the mud has over time developed into a concoction of all of the above not to forget copious amounts of animal urine. Now imagine it isn't a frying pan. It is a shithole. A shithole where two or three some alcoholic farmers live. Now all you have to do is walk to the cabin which resting on stilts.
However, being the unprepared fuck that you are, you forgot to bring shoes that are Shithole certified. So, in effect, every step you take is a potential chance at--you guessed it-- "eating shit."
Now, imagine you are me. There I was slipping and sliding on a slipper, crisco-like, shit-urine-mud confection. The goats were laughing at me as it took next to forever to get to the cabin. Then I had to get up to the cabin. That required me to walk a plank with a 40 degree gradient in my freshly shit-mud coated shoes. There was just no easy way to do it to walk that plank.
It was also raining. I just wanted to get inside and sit down.
No comments:
Post a Comment