Payback for Being a Carniverous Beeef Eating Sicko- Yunnan Escapades

Evan and I, being the only two outsiders, were directed to sleep in the old man's house (cabin) next door. We didn't speak Tibetan, and he didn't speak any Chinese. It was a welcome change, however, from the overcrowded situation.

The trek back through the shithole was challenging, especially because I had to put my wet socks and shoes back on. Keep in mind, that its dark now, and I only have my little pen light to navigate my way through the muddy shithole.

Once in our sleeping quarters, we waited for over an hour for dinner. Evan and I stared at the old man, and he just stared back at us. It sucked because I really didn't want to take my shoes off again, because I figured they would be calling us back over any minute.

So we finally meandered over for dinner. We ate like monsters and then headed back to our sleeping quarters again.

I unrolled the little mat across the wooden planks and spread out the "too small for me" sleeping bag. I crawled inside and sipped it up. All of I could think of was slipping into a deep sleep. My legs ached. My back ached. My head ached. My whole body was throbbing. I was wiped out. I glanced at my shoes drying out by the fire. The insoles had crinkled up a bit from the heat. I didn't care.

I looked at the old man. He had a log for a pillow. Jesus, am I ever a pussy.

My body felt like it was about to explode. I couldn't relax. I could feel the blood running through my legs. I wanted to sleep. I just wanted to sleep. Then the noises started.

What kind of strange fucking animal is that? And there are a lot of them.

Every five minutes.
Every fucking five minutes.
Every fucking five minutes I heard a cowl, a groan, or a grunt come from under the floor. I pulled opened the zipper to my sleeping bag. I had to piss. I went outside and pissed off the balcony into the dark, cold abyss below.

Back inside, I crawled into my sleeping bag. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got stuck. In a frenzy of frustration, I forced the zipper into malfunction. Fucking great. So much for that.

I couldn't tell if the animals below were fighting or fucking or both. Every single time I started to pass out, I was awakened abruptly and roughly. By that, I mean one of the fucking/fighting animals below was either having a howling orgasm or getting nailed from behind. Prison life, eh? Consequently, each call was followed by the beast's head and horns jacking me up a few inches of my sleeping plank.

In all, I got about two hours of sleep all night. Yaks. God damn yaks.

Karmic payback for sure.