that is us in the far upper left hand corner
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
All Roads Lead to Near Death - Yunnan Escapades
So we started down this seemingly comfortable path, which was, for a short while, comfortable. That is, until we got to the slippery slope rock formations. Big giant slippery rocks with slow water flowing over them--just no end new challenges. Some of them were also covered with moss.
Had I slipped at times, it would have been a very, very long fall, and other times just a few meters. Either way, I would have bounced down to the bottom. Once again, preparation is key to survival. Sporting fake Chinese made name brand look alike shoes for rugged outdoor mountain hiking is not the smartest move I've ever made.
I managed to make it down several ledges. My best option was crab-crawling. I had also picked up a great Moses grade staff that I found on the peak. Unfortunately, though, it was useless for parting water, but it did keep me from flying over the side a few times. After a while, we finally made it to some flat land.
However, the next obstacle proved to be quite a chore. Not being used to snow didn't make it any easier, especially with my shitty court shoes. I started across the snow. Army Guy came stomping over and grabbed my hand. I couldn't refuse, because he gave me no choice, and any sudden movements would have had me hauling down the bank toward jagged boulders.
He was yanking me along with his right hand, and his left had was half guiding Nan Bei, a 40 something Guangdong woman. i couldn't tell if Army Guy was helping or making it worse. I just kept looking at the Ginormous pile of jagged rocks some 50 meters down the slope waiting to chew me up. Every step I took dragged the three of us about 4 feet closer to the grinding machine. Had I ate shit, my fate definitely involved broken bones.
In my mind I kept planning a hypothetical recourse should I fall. Here are the options I focused on:
1) stab the staff into the snow while holding the lowest position.
2) Go feet first in the crunch position
3) Roll into the fetal position and cover my head
Fuck, what if my kidneys get punctured? Fuck
4) Maybe I should turn on my stomach and spread eagle using my short lived Ripping the Heart Out Tiger Claw Kung Fu to dig my fingers into the snow and scrape myself to a stop.
Note to self: Next time you go to remote mountain village, remember to bring remote mountain village footwear.
I made it across, where I waited to watch Evan struggle the ice. Of course, he being much smarter than me, walked about ten meters up and crossed the upper collection of jagged rocks. But I think he was having just as much fun.
Had I slipped at times, it would have been a very, very long fall, and other times just a few meters. Either way, I would have bounced down to the bottom. Once again, preparation is key to survival. Sporting fake Chinese made name brand look alike shoes for rugged outdoor mountain hiking is not the smartest move I've ever made.
I managed to make it down several ledges. My best option was crab-crawling. I had also picked up a great Moses grade staff that I found on the peak. Unfortunately, though, it was useless for parting water, but it did keep me from flying over the side a few times. After a while, we finally made it to some flat land.
However, the next obstacle proved to be quite a chore. Not being used to snow didn't make it any easier, especially with my shitty court shoes. I started across the snow. Army Guy came stomping over and grabbed my hand. I couldn't refuse, because he gave me no choice, and any sudden movements would have had me hauling down the bank toward jagged boulders.
He was yanking me along with his right hand, and his left had was half guiding Nan Bei, a 40 something Guangdong woman. i couldn't tell if Army Guy was helping or making it worse. I just kept looking at the Ginormous pile of jagged rocks some 50 meters down the slope waiting to chew me up. Every step I took dragged the three of us about 4 feet closer to the grinding machine. Had I ate shit, my fate definitely involved broken bones.
In my mind I kept planning a hypothetical recourse should I fall. Here are the options I focused on:
1) stab the staff into the snow while holding the lowest position.
2) Go feet first in the crunch position
3) Roll into the fetal position and cover my head
Fuck, what if my kidneys get punctured? Fuck
4) Maybe I should turn on my stomach and spread eagle using my short lived Ripping the Heart Out Tiger Claw Kung Fu to dig my fingers into the snow and scrape myself to a stop.
Note to self: Next time you go to remote mountain village, remember to bring remote mountain village footwear.
I made it across, where I waited to watch Evan struggle the ice. Of course, he being much smarter than me, walked about ten meters up and crossed the upper collection of jagged rocks. But I think he was having just as much fun.
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